Since the fight I had with this girl shakilla, life has been great everyone is friends and nobody like the girl i fought....
me and my sister got an extention of our cerfew on the weekend (10:30 pm)
and we got off punishment
then the day we got off punishment we got back on punishment becaue we
went in the houe at 10:44pm
we didn;t have the time, nobody around us had the time (well two person did)
and we wasn't around the house
so when my step mom pulled up in the parking lot
the first thing she said was "did your father extend your cufrew?"
I said "what time is is"
she sais "almost 11 o'clock"
so while me, my step sister and my friend Ashely (who was spending the night) was going in the house
my step mom kept talking about how it wasnt her fault we didn't keep track of time and i got mad.
when we got in the house she told us we was punished again so we started agruing and my friend ashely said that what she did was unfair
my father didn;t say anything because...well i don't know why he didn't day anything but it made me mad.

......................................................................................................................................................
Then after we did our community service hours the next day,
I was on the cumputer looking up stuff about SAT and was on Facebook, Myspace, Myyearbook ect. my dad called and they was talking about some deal for me and my step sister
so when my step mom called my step sister to he room she told us that they (my dad and step mom) had  a deal with us....
so she said we have to be in the house by 8o'clcok (our cerfew on the weekdays is 9 o'clock) 7 days a week..
if we break that rule once, were in for the rest of the school year
but if we do it the second time were in for the summer
and when the family is going somewhere, we have to stay in the hosue
i thought she was doing to much when she made up that deal..
but she only did it because she doesn't get respect from anyone in the house
the only reason she doesn't get attention is because she always complain about stupid stuff and make up stupid rules!!!!!

my life has been PERFECt!!
no problems or nothing
this is the best summer ever
i'm getting a job at Marshalls
and i meet this guy
his name is Walter
we go out now
its been about 2 weeks
he's 17 and he is sooo cute
he drives and spoils me
i don't like it but he does it anyway
he's tall to
when i say tall i mean tall
he's kinda on teh freaky side but i know how to slow him down
we go to the movies (but we dont really watch the movie...*tisk tisk*)
were kinda in love (depends on your definition of love)
but he picks me up from summer school on Mondays and fridays
my uncle and mom dont approve of him but oh well my little brother goes out with my friend
 i hooked them up
ever since i meet him..random guys are comming up to me and flirting with me and i dont like it
i'm like "i have a boyfriend"
anyway..life has been good
i had to take the summer school HSA today
it was sooo easy
and then i have to take a final
i'm searching for colleges (i'm going to the 11th this year) but my boyfrineds going to college..
but i dont believe him
but i'm goin to anyway (yea it doesnt make sence so what)
i trust him alot
he can be quite forceful sometimes
but he knows when i want him to stop and he stops
he's a very caring person
when i cry..he holds me in his arms and i feel soo safe
he told me that he would never cheat on me
he also said that the relationship will last long
he makes me soo nervus 
 he soo playful to
he has a dog namees popeye and as soon as he saw me he likes me
cute dog to
the thing is i didnt tell my parents and family that  i go out with him
the only people that know is my brother and sister
i dont know when to tell them...

Ahhh...July 4th
the sweet fire works shot in the air
the tastie BBQ food
and the famiyl gathering
but since we moved into the almost worse place ever (almost)
it's like Hell....
first their was police officers everywhere so it was hard for us to get inteh house
the police told us to get down because people was shooting 
if we got down..we would still get shoot
we lost our brother be because hae ran off then found him
the hold street was blocked off
and they sent the dogs out to get people
DOGS..did they have to go that far
just becaue they was lighting fireworks
i shouldn't say that..they banned fire works from maryland
man..i hate living here
but its home until i graduate
god i cant wait til that day...
if i have to go through that again..i will move out and fast 

my name is kesha,
i'm 16 born in october 17 (GO LIBRA'S!!)
i'm Black and Indian
i honestly dont know what city i was born in becauce i traveled when i was young
becaue my dad was in the military
i'm shy (sometimes)
very outgoing
i lvoe to write
sing and dance
i love children and my family
i'm 5ft 1
short
wear glasses
but now i wear contacts
beautiful (or thats what people say)
i have 2sisters (1 ismy half sister)
and 6 brothers
i've lived with my step-mom since i was like.....2 or 1 i dunno but she's been taling care of me since she was with my  dad (they was young, not married...bf and gf)
i found out that my step-mom wasnt my real mom when i was 13 i think (i was mad adn sad at the same time)
i want to go to THE UNIVERSITY OF MARYLAND!!!!
i love to make people laugh and cheer them up!!!
i want to learn how to play the piano and guitar
i'm not a big fan of rap or hip hop
i like rock music better
i'm not a fake person
i tell my true feelings about something or someone whenever (which is bad..but i still do it)
i like to call people by their last name (mostly friends.just for fun)
i have a million nick names:
kee
keshia cole (dont really know why, friends call me that)
tonie
mikie
lashawn
maggie(joke made by dad)
fat girl (when i was a baby, chunckly little thing i was!!)
kee-kee
and more...........
i like to waske up early
my step-mom calls me the blond bom shell ("i act likea white girl")
i like money (who doesnt)
i give advice to those who need it but donesnt follow my own advice
love boys!!!
have no problem with people who has a different sexual orientation than me
HATE RACISM
i wasnt to change the world (need to figure out how to do that)
I WANT TO GRADUATE HIGH SCHOOL
i'd sacrafice my life for a family member(family comes first after education)
love music and technology
i dont really care what people think or say about bme because peole will alwasy talk about me (learned that from Tyler Perry!!)
hard worker
tries my hardest




i typed this to remind myself who i really am......
for some reason
i havent been acting like the normal kesha
thats what everyone says

well summer school isn't as bad as i thought it would be..
the teacher i have is funny (in a wierd kind of way)
the class is smart
i can't see how they ended up in summer school
maybe its because of the way the teachers tought them
just like mine
giving SAT quizes every week
but anyway
i met this boy names Sherwood
and he is sooo cute
were.....friends....kind of
well..he knows i exist

yesterday he sat in my seat because i missed the bus to get to my school 
i now have 5 more tardies until its counted as an absecence thing
i'm soo mad
theuir goes my summer school perfect attendance
i can't wait til progress reports come out
then report cards

back on treack
we talk alittle 
and for soem reason when he leans his head back he smmiles at me and we end up laughing
he' sfunny and smart 
AND HE SAID HE WAS GOING TO COLLEGE (score)its like he likes me but doesnt want to say it 

He always look at me and sometimes smile he has dreads in his hair makes him look cute and no....i dont go for the bad guys i like guys like me prepy...prepy guys are sweet and generouse................or thats what i heard

i have 22 DAYS left until summer school is over....a long way to go

maybe our  "relatuionship" would increase...get better..whatever

since i wasn't so successful with my friend "Tay" (boys nick name) i thought that i should move on

i got tired of waiting for him to notice that i like him

i mean...i even gave him clues

but i think this is gonna be a start to a wonderful relationship......

OH....AND I JUST FOUND OUT THAT
KEVIN
WAS IN SUMMER SCHOOL
MY FRIEND TEMEKA IS GONNA BE SOO MAD!!!
BUT I'M NOT GONNA TELL HER
JASMINE WILL ;)

now that my step-mom registered me to go to summer to summer school
she came back and said "here, you need to fill this out and take it with you to school, even your councilor toldme to be mean to you....yea she was their"
she said it with the meanist attitude ever
i dont wanna stay here anymore
but if i say that to them
they'll only tell me to pack my things and go to ms.smiths house (my real mom)
she's acting like i didn'y try
she keep comparing me to my siblings
she's like "see, even your brother graduated and he was actin' up like you did"
i hate when shecompares me to my siblings or to someone elses child
its not right..........it really isnt
it hurts my feelings
its like she wants me out becaue i cost to much money
she told me that she could go to some place and and get something that starts with an "R"
she said with that i could be out of their lives
and they dont have to take care of me
and that the police would come and take me away
my dad keep saying "i'm for it" 
he' s my dad
he's supposed to support me, help me, anything 
but instead...he's doing exactly what she's doing
i dont belong here
and now i really know that 
thats why i've decided to leave home and go somewhere else 

recently i found out that i have to go to summer school
i feel so stupid
but it doesnt show when i'm with my family
my step m om is to busy telling the whole world that i have to attend summer school
and now she's making me feel guilty about her spending $325 just so i won't stay back
well......let me tell you
she's doing a really good job at it
and she expects me to pay her back
so i have to pay my mom and dad $325
well.....thats gonna take a while for me to do that

Anyway, today is their anniversery and she's making me feel sooo bad because they can't do anything because of me
well it is my fault
but she doesnt have to hurt my feelings like that
i cant even look at her with out disapointing her
she keep telling me how haveing children yo have to make sacrifices
and she had to make the biggest one in her life
i mean its not like they do anything
because they dont get along
they keep arguing about things that happend years ago
she nags and complains early in the morning
it was like 3AM. the last time they was arguing
and my little brother was just laughing about the whole thing
i dont think its fummy when they argue.....

my little sister had a perfect 3.0
she keep showing off like she never got a 3.0 before
she's the perfect daughter my step mom never had
except for the attitude
besides that....
she's perfect
unlike me

GOSH!!! by brother and sister are so mean
they keep calling me an oreo
they said that i act white
how do white people act?
i dunno but, somehow i'm gonna find out
but, we went to the park and we were talking and everything i do they say
"oreo!"
i mean whats the big deal anyway, i'am what i"am
i asked them how white people act and my sister says that they are stuck up
i personally disagree with that
i may talk alot but that doesn't make me an oreo
i admit that i sometimes act white or of a different race but still i don't do it all the time 
or i dont mean to
its not my fault i act this was
and it seems that my step mom feels the same way to
she calls me the blond bomb shell
i think its wrong how i'm being judged in this house of judgemental people
anyway!!! whats wrong with being white anyway
i think white people are cool
their good with fashion 
always have fun 
and have alot of friends and have things to talk about
and soo does african-americans ( /blacks)
now, does all that still mean i'm an oreo
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
personally, theirs nothing wrong with being an oreo
so why an i complaining you ask
i have no idea
but being an oreo rules
unless people think your a wanna be or a pser or whatever people say

is it wrong to hit your younger sister back when she punch and kick you on a daily bases because she can't control her attitude and anger
it would be nice to know....
like yesterday, we was having a good time instaling the ipsp on our psp's
well when our parents came in, thats when things started to happen..
all i wanted to do was use her psp charger so i can charge my psp because i didn't know where mine was (we moved so i can't really find my stuff)
well, my brother comes in and we talk about stuff, then she comes in and unplug the charger and goes by the tv and pull on the charger while the connector is still in it. so she starts to get an attitude with me and i just take the connector out and i toss it to her
she gets mad thinkin'  i'm mad because i was..all she had to do was say can you ask to use my stuff
but no, that would have been way to kind of her...
so when she comes by to leave
SHE KICKS ME!!!!!
so i hit her back
and she comes back and hit me again
so i hit her back
then....
she starts to just punch and kick me
and i'm not doing anything
i just let her punch and kick me
becasue whatever i do she's gonna tell my step-mom and i might end up getting in trouble
so after all that she yells
my step mom hears and she starts to talk about what happend
she says "k-- always using my stuff without asking me"
i'm like ...
she always take my psp battery without me knowing and put it in her bootleg psp so she  could put stuff on her psp so why is she complaining
she always use my stuff without asking me and i don't complain....
so that night i went to bed because i had a terrible head ache just like any other day and i listen to music and went to sleep.....
then  my sister comes and in the room, turn on the   tv (which was loud ) and left...
and she left the door open
then a couple of minutes later
she comesin with my brother and watch tv...
they did turn off the light but the tv waws still loud...al i hear was them laughin'
watchin "house of pain"
i'm like
there is someone in their room who is tryin to sleep, can you show some type of respect
then she got the nerve to say "i hope you die, you need to go to teh smith house where you belong" (smith house= birth moms house)

so today i decided not to talk to her, so she gets mad adn slams the door  every time she leaves the same room that i'm in
so i'm doing my hair in teh bathroom ( i usually do it in my room) and she tries to appologize
she's gonna need to do alot better than that
so i ignore her
after i did my hair...
i went in our room to continue to write my play
and she kicks my foot when she goes by andi say
"excuse you" 
and she says nothing
then she turns teh fan in her direction and i'm hot so i turn it diagnal so both of us can feel it equally
she turns it her way adn i turn it back to the way i did it
she turned it back her way so i unplugged the fan
if we cant share it equally
it doesnt need to be on
so i get over the situaton and make her a "birthday cake"
its just a peanut butter and jelly sadwitch with a lit candel on it and me and my brother sang happy birthday  so she smiles and stuff
then i say blow out the candle
she says no because she dosent like me
i dont care if she doenst like me 
i'm not in this world to be likes 
i'mhere to prove to people that i have a meaning in theis world
which is to become a writer 
just like tyler perry
i want my parents to realize that my plays are good even though i dont send them to anyone to read
my friends like my stories and plays  
 

now, just liek the last blog about god this is simmilar but it has a different situation that deals with my friends
so i guess this is the same!!!

my best friend is Nijerian and  i have some African friends
and they have a huge thing about god
so they started to talk about god and how powerful he is and all that stuff
so my friend (best) turns to me and says
"didn't you say you don't believe in god?"
and of course i told the truth by saying yes
it felt so aquired, like when i go to church with the family because i don't belive in a word they say
i know its bad for all the people who actually belive in him
its just when i was little i had to belive in him
it was like i was trained to belive in him
but i realized i didn't belive in him when i prayed the day before my 16th birthday that i would have the best party of my life
but i didn't
i didn''t have abirthday at all
i was soo depressed
so i stopped believing
the only who knows is my sister
my step-mom tells me lines from teh bible when i get sad or something and it feels wierd when seh does it because she doesn't know that i don't belive in god
it would be wired if i tell her because she'll tell everyone of her family members and friends and they'll start asking questions about why i don't believe
does the fact that i dont believe in god amke me a devils child?
a saint?
will i be damned?
anything....?
i would like some answers to those questions
more than half of the world believe in something or worship something and i'm not  part of it
i don't want to dissapoint my family by telling them i don't believe in god, or any god
i have no one to talk with about this situation 
and my little sister is not an opption, she just don't understand my situation right now.
i had this dream a while back where i had to chose which one i'd rather be with
god or the devil
and i can't believe that it was hard for me to decide
that must have been a huge sighn that my belife for god is decreasing each day
but in the end
i didn't chose 
and for that whole week, i kept having those dreams 
i never chose a side
and its a good  thing to
what should i do in this situation
should i tell my mom and dad
should i keep it a secret and keep it to myself because i think my sister forgot all about it
i don' t know what to do anymore...
i need some help
what shoud i so? 

I have  friends who is bi..
and i have  friends who is gay
i have  friends who is straight....
i have friends who are lesbiens...
and i also have friends who dont know what they are yet....

Now i know people who have a problem with gay, bi, or lesbien
i say IF THEY WANT TO BE WHAT EVER, LET THEM BE...WHATEVER
PEOPLE IN MY SCHOOL IS LIKE "OOHH, YOUR GAY OR WHATEVER BECAUSE YOU DO THIS AND YOU LIKE THAT"

WELL IS YOU LIKE RAINBOWS DOES IT MAKE YOU GAY BI, LESBIEN OR STRAIGHT?
I LIKE RAINBOWS AND I'M NOT GAY
IF YOU LIKE TO SKIP TO YOUR LOO
ARE YOU GAY, STRAIGHT, BI OR LESBIAN
NO BECAUSE I LIKE TO SKIP TO MY LOO
I ADORE GAY, STRAIGHT, BI, LESBIANS, STRAIGHT AND ANY OTHER SEXUAL ORIENTATIONS BECAUSE THEIR NOT AFFRAID TO EXPRESS THEMSELVES...
IF I WERE TO BECOME ANYTHING BUT STRAIGHT...
I'D TELL SOMEONE IN A MILISECOND
AND IF THEY GOT SOMETHIN NEGATIVE TO SAY ABOUT THEM
THEY CAN GO TO ---
had to stop myself
BUT STILL
JUDGING PEOPLE FOR THEIR SEXUAL ORIENTATION IS WRONG
THE GOEVERNMENT WON'T LET GAY S OR LESBIENS OR WHAT EVER GET MARRIED
I THINK THATS WRONG
WHY CAN'T SOMEONE BE COMMITED TO THE ONE THEY LOVE WITHOUT BEING JUDGED

IF A BOY LOOK AT ANOTHER BOY LIKE THEY SEE THEM ON THE STREET IS THAT PERSON  GAY
IF A GIRL LOOKS AT ANOTHER GIRL THATS WALKING DOWN THE STREET IS THAT PERSON A LESBIEN
I SEE PEOPLE WHO AREN'T STRAIGHT KISS THEIR PARNTER AND I THINK ITS COOL BECAUSE THEIR BRAVE ENOUGH TO SHOW THE WORLD THAT YOU DONT NEED TO BE THIS OR THAT TO BE HAPPY
YOU DONT NEED TO GO OUT WITH THE OPPOSIT SEX TO BE HAPPY
I SAY
IF THEY WANT TO BE GAY,BI, STRAIGH, LESBIEN  OR INBETWEEN WHATEVER
LET THEM BE
I WAS WATCHING I KNOW PRONOUNCE YOU CHUCK AND LARRY 
THE PART WHEN THE COMMUNITY WAS COMPLAINING ABOUT THE GAYS AND ECT.
I FELT BAD FOR THEM
THEY GAVE THOSE PEOPLE A HARD TIME BECASUE THEIR NOT LIKE THEM
IF I WERE TO BECOME SOMETHING ELSE WOULDNT KEEP IT A SECRET
I WOULD HAVE ONE OF THOSE FAMILY MEETINGS AND TELL MY PARENTS
AND WHEN I GO TO MY REAL MOMS HOUSE TO TELL HER
I'M DAMN SURE SHE'S GONNA COMMENT ON IT
SHE DOESNT SUPPORT ME OR MY BROTHER (2ND OLDEST)
I HATE PEOPLE WHO JUDGE OTHER PEOPLE WHO HAS A PROBLEM WITH OTHER WHO DONT WANT TO BE WITH THE OPPOSIT SEX
I WANT THEM TO JUST........GO AWAY
FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

well summer break is coming up and this last week is bad.
my "friend" who's name starts with an R has a boyfriend, and she's a flirt which isn't good.
well, i introduced her to my friends..well she introduced herself and now she's stressin over him.
she's like...oh my god where is holloway, i'm like shut the hell up you got a boy who like you so get off his back.
nobody like her..not even the people who sit at the table i moved to when "the incident" happend...
she swear she think she cool, but she's not...
then one day this boy i likes who liked her called her ugly and said some other stuff about her because she was getting on his nerves...
well she can't get over it..so i said "do  you think your ugly" then she said no and i told her to shut the hell up and my friend Gao (male) started claping..
i know its mean but it was how i felt and i'm tired of holding back my thoughts and feeling, its frustrating.
i have 2 more years in high school until i go to the colleges of my dream
i want to go to the university of Maryland and i want to go to a culinary school to be a chef, 
i also want to be a middle school teacher, or elementary...no high school no way.
anyway..i'm gonna see BOYS LIKE GIRLS on June 9, 2008 ya!!!.. and i'm gonna go to an ice cream social on wednesday of that week....thats what i'm gonna do on the last week of school....
i shouldn't be stressin over stupid things like that
i'm better than that and my step-mom tought me better
but still
I HATE MY FRIEND WHO'S NAME BEGINS WITH AN R
but i'm jus gonna keep that to myself

WELL...here i am makin aniother blog about the world's zillion problems
this time, its about having sex...
i wanna know one thing
in every video i see in health class people talk about sex bein better with no condom
but is it worth it
isgetting HIV, AIDS, STD, PREGNENT or any disease worth not using protection
WELL LET ME TELL YOU
HECK NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
when i grow up and get ready for that special day with that special person
YOU BETTA BELIEVE HE'S GONNA GET TESTED BEFORE WE DO ANYTHING
the only proof of him gettin tested is the results, if teh results are good, i will put it on the fridge...but if it's bad, i won't leave him cuz that would be wrong and i know better






NOW THIS IS FOR ALL WHO READ MY WONDERFUL BLOGS....
I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT MY BLOGS
JUS BY ADDING ALITTLE COMMENT
ITS OT HARD
I WRITE BLOGS BECASUE IT HELPS ME KNOW THAT WHAT I WRITE IS GOOD
AND IT GETS ME ONE STEP CLOSER TO BECOMING A PROFESSIONAL WRITTER


THANK YOU VEEEEERY MUCH

Ok...everyone knows as the years go by the gas prices get higher every year, and every what 4 years a new president is being elected.
well everyone is waiting for Bush to get out of office( so am i). Well, last week the gas prices were $3.63 i think, and i heard on thE radio that gas prices arn't gonn ago up anymore..WELL, THEY LIED.....because gas  cost $3.71, now, i don't drive, so my parents drive me to school every morning...but what if teh gas is below the E and we need to get gas but my parents only got the credit card and the station only accept cash only, WELL, I'LL TELL YOU SOMEONE IS GONNA  BE PUSHIN THE TRUCK....AND IT AIN'T GONNA BE ME....back to the election thing, Hillary or Obama..? i choose Obama for pres. and HIllary for Viice Pres. togeather they will be  INVENSIBLE!!!! ha! ha!....so i can't wait til the elections to see who's gonna win....now on to Global warming, the ozone layer has holes in it because of something i forgot i learned that in biology, thats why it's SOOO FREAKIN HOT...anyway, in english we was  talking about what we can do to save our enviornment, she ( my english teacher) said this is our time adn generation to fixz things adn i agree, but how will we start....nobody know's i say we sighn a petition saying no to...something, i'll know when i find out, but really , think of all the animals trying to survive in teh arctic...don't you see the comercials on tv....do you even watch tv...i hope so...
but when i grow up, i wanna be THE FIRST AFRICAN AMERICAN WOMAN TO BE PRESIDENT OR VICE PRESIDENT BUT PRESIDENT IS BETTER...but that cost money.....to much money....i cant see how they do it, to much money, where do it come from adn how do they get it , adn how do they make it, cuz i wanna know....
i wish money could grow on tree's....my tree's (that was soo random!!)...anyway HSA's are comin up and the only one i'm worried about is the gov't HSA, the preactice HSA is hard enough and all those BCR's not even nesessary (there are exactly 13 BCR"s on the gov't BCR, and the sessions are extra long, so when i come home from school, imma eat sleep study and all that stuff cuz i wanna go to the 11th grade...I WON'T LET NO TEST GET IN MY WAY!!!


NOW, my frioend Thomas made this book which is really good (but mine is better) it's kind of like kingdom hearts (if you play the game you know what i mean). its funny...
NOW OFF THAT SUBJECT!!


GAS PRICES AND GLOBAL WARMING



SCHOOL AND POLITICS

Ok...well ,after the thing with Ronny and the money thing, i sat  at a diferent table, i sit with a bunch of boys, now their like my brothers, we laugh togeather, whenever someone is depressed or emotional the others are, were's so close.
Now i like one of them...Dustin.
So...now my friend Neli (girls nick name) sits at the table because my ex-friend was talking about her.
Now that she's at our table, all she's doing is flirting with them...
even Dustine..i'm like OMG...so..after that, i said "i think Dustin like's you."
But before that, at lunch, he was just whispering to her (is whispering a word??)
compleminting her..so now i have second thoughts about him..this  is the third time this happend,
1 with Daniell and cyndi
2 pamela and Thomas(who i still like)
3 Myesha and Thomas
and finally
4nelli and dustin
what is it that i don;t have
is it something they don't like
if there is
i'm not changing cuz if you want me
you need to accept me for who iam
if you like me
tell me
why are boys like that....and why are girls so dramatic..
i'm one of them
if i like him, i should have told him
i'm soooo stupid GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm gonna stay single for the rest of my life
ever since i've entered the 10th grade the only person i went out with was Allen
Allen was a sweet heart......but he moved, so we had to part
and i haven't dated then.
GOSH THIS SUCKS
I HATE MY LOVE LIFE