THE ALL MIGHT GOD:PART II

now, just liek the last blog about god this is simmilar but it has a different situation that deals with my friends
so i guess this is the same!!!

my best friend is Nijerian and  i have some African friends
and they have a huge thing about god
so they started to talk about god and how powerful he is and all that stuff
so my friend (best) turns to me and says
"didn't you say you don't believe in god?"
and of course i told the truth by saying yes
it felt so aquired, like when i go to church with the family because i don't belive in a word they say
i know its bad for all the people who actually belive in him
its just when i was little i had to belive in him
it was like i was trained to belive in him
but i realized i didn't belive in him when i prayed the day before my 16th birthday that i would have the best party of my life
but i didn't
i didn''t have abirthday at all
i was soo depressed
so i stopped believing
the only who knows is my sister
my step-mom tells me lines from teh bible when i get sad or something and it feels wierd when seh does it because she doesn't know that i don't belive in god
it would be wired if i tell her because she'll tell everyone of her family members and friends and they'll start asking questions about why i don't believe
does the fact that i dont believe in god amke me a devils child?
a saint?
will i be damned?
anything....?
i would like some answers to those questions
more than half of the world believe in something or worship something and i'm not  part of it
i don't want to dissapoint my family by telling them i don't believe in god, or any god
i have no one to talk with about this situation 
and my little sister is not an opption, she just don't understand my situation right now.
i had this dream a while back where i had to chose which one i'd rather be with
god or the devil
and i can't believe that it was hard for me to decide
that must have been a huge sighn that my belife for god is decreasing each day
but in the end
i didn't chose 
and for that whole week, i kept having those dreams 
i never chose a side
and its a good  thing to
what should i do in this situation
should i tell my mom and dad
should i keep it a secret and keep it to myself because i think my sister forgot all about it
i don' t know what to do anymore...
i need some help
what shoud i so?